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26 Things People Never Say in Cambridge, Mass

Student Work
by Sofia Neilsen Aug 3, 2015

1. Let’s take the green line — it’ll be faster.

2. Didn’t you hear? I’m purchasing a home on Brattle Street.

3. I have an idea. Let’s get in line to rub the shoe of that John Harvard statue!

4. I wish more people would get excited about startups around here.

5. I’m a graduate student, therefore I know exactly what I’m doing with my life.

6. I’m voting for Donald Trump, but having another Bush in the White House would be my second choice.

8. I’m feeling altruistic today. I’m going to spend three hours digging my car out of the snow so my neighbor can park her car in my spot. I’ll even throw in a lawn chair.

9. I’m proud of everything I did at The Kong last night.

10. Hi, I’m Jane, and I go to Harvard.

11. What a lovely day for a swim in the Charles.

12. I can’t find a single restaurant worth trying in Central Square. Where’s the diversity? </h2.

13. I deserved this parking ticket and the five others I’ve collected this year.

15. What mafia?

16. Harvard is so much better than MIT.

17. Wait for the signal before crossing the street — safety first!

19. Another four feet of snow? Excellent!

20. I could really use some more black clothes in my wardrobe. All these colors are making me dizzy.

21. What do you mean there are homeless people in Harvard Square?

22. Do you need any quarters? I really don’t have a need for them.

23. There really aren’t enough opportunities for adult education around here.

24. I’m not feeling Dunks right now.

25. You’re going peeping this fall? I thought you were a family man.

26. I grew up in Cambridge.

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