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26 Things You'll Never Hear Someone From Perth Say

by Rachael Morland Oct 3, 2015

1. Fancy a quiet drink this Saturday night? Let’s head to Bar 120…

2. Northbridge is so tranquil.

3. Gracetown? Definitely the safest place to surf.

4. I always get a clear run down the Mitchell Freeway on my way to work.

6. Transperth is so reliable.

7. Oh no! Don’t move up the train. Let’s all stand in one big, cozy group by the doors and bump in to each other all the way to the CBD. I like it that way.

8. I’m so thrilled to be sitting in bumper-to-bumper on the Kwinana.

9. Perth drivers sure are great at merging.

10. I’m so grateful the government spent $5.5 million of our taxpayer’s money on the Swan Bell Tower. I couldn’t think of a more worthy use for those funds.

11. “Darby”

12. I’ve never been to Bali.

13. Perth is so ahead of the times.

14. The Cott? On a Sunday? Why?

15. We want to raise our family in a safe, family orientated suburb surrounded by similar, tight-knit family units. Let’s move to Rockingham.

16. I can totally afford these constantly inflating prices on my non-FIFO wage.

17. Melbourne? Nah, it’s got nothing on Perth!

18. Actually, it was my full, sober intention to end up at the Hip-E Club at 3am.

19. Gee, I wish these constant 40°C days would stick around even longer.

20. I took a Swan Taxi, it was cheaper.

21. Looks like it’ll be another white Christmas this year.

22. Ben Cousins, our local hero and role model.

23. Swim in the Swan! She’ll be right mate.

24. “Cockburn”

25. We have the most disgusting coastline. Don’t even bother going to the beach.

26. I park my car in the CBD every day and can still afford to eat.

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