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30 Things You’ll Never Hear a Philadelphian Say

by Robin Goode Aug 5, 2015

1. I don’t know which is the better cheesesteak. I love both Pat’s and Geno’s!

2. We are the proud Sixth Borough of New York City!

3. It was smooth sailing on the Blue Route today. No traffic!

4. Why are you putting your apartment on Airbnb when you could stay in town and see the Pope?

5. Sheetz is way better than Wawa.

6. No. They’re not called the Art Museum steps. They’re called the Rocky Steps. Get it right.

7. Skeletor Karaoke Gong Show is so overrated.

8. I’ve never heard of ‘It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’

9. These world-class chefs need to stop opening restaurants and make way for fine dining establishments like Applebees, Chili’s, and T.G.I. Friday’s.

10. I forgot all the lyrics to ‘Fly, Eagles, Fly.’

11. We’ll get there just in time if we take SEPTA.

12. They really need to disassemble the SS United States. It’s cluttering up the Delaware River and nobody wants to look at it while they’re shopping at Ikea.

13. I refuse to drink anything but Bud Light.

14. The hottest place to be on a Friday night is totally Fat Tuesday on South Street.

15. You can’t get decent coffee in Fishtown. There’s no Starbucks anywhere around there!

16. Let’s go out for a relaxing evening at The Dolphin.

17. Yes! The intro to ‘The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air’ does remind me of my childhood!

18. What does “jawn” mean?

19. For a classy night out on the town, I treat myself to a City Wide special.

20. I met this guy last night and guess what… We have no mutual friends!

21. Tastykakes and scrapple are two important components of a balanced and nutritious breakfast.

22. I couldn’t find anything good to eat at Reading Terminal market.

23. That’s it! I’m tired of rooting for the Eagles. I’m becoming a Giants fan.

24. This bar has too many craft brews on tap.

25. I can’t wait for that new vape shop to open up on Girard.

26. The new construction in Fishtown makes the neighborhood look so vibrant and modern.

27. Pop-up beer gardens are terrible use of our empty lots.

28. Bill Cosby is the most legendary celebrity to come out of Philadelphia.

29. Forget N3RD Street. Comcast is the only innovative tech company in the city.

30. Ben Franklin should have stayed in Boston.

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