1. Forget introducing yourself with your name
When asking for directions, a drink or anything at all, make sure to introduce yourself as ‘alright how’s it going alright,’ for that is now your name.
2. Don’t ask for recommendations at a bar
That’s something that happens in posh places, and you don’t want to go to any of them, and good luck finding one in any case. If in any doubt, order a Brains SA Gold — you won’t regret it. If you don’t drink beer then a double vodka lemonade should satisfy the bar staff and the regulars.