4. When you tell your mama you wish there was something healthy to eat on the Thanksgiving menu, and she points to the ambrosia and says, “Well, there’s fruit! Get you some of that.”
5. When you and your sister think potty humor is funny, and your mama says, “With a mouth like that, you know you’re neveh gonna be invited into the Colonial Dames.” And you think, “Thank god!”
6. When you’ve been an adult for quite some time, and your mama still reminds you not to straight up call her friends by their first names, but say Ms. Brenda, or Ms. Marilyn instead. And you STILL say, “Yes, Ma’am.”
7. When you’re running out the door just to get a few things at the grocery store wearing shorts, a t-shirt, and without make-up, and your mama says, “You’re not going out like that, are you?”
8. When you tell your mama that you’re pretty good with directions and you’d be happy to help (when she’s driving and lost), and she says, “Way-ell you know it’s okay for you to tell me that, but remember, we probably shouldn’t say we’re good at something. It’s like bragging.” It’s no wonder you still have a hard time writing a resume.
9. You’ve barely finished tearing the paper off your Christmas gifts (or wedding gifts, birthday gifts) and your mama says, “Alright, that was fun. Now, here’s your list and some stamps. When you gonna write your thank-you cards?”
10. When you get a new haircut and your mama doesn’t like it, she quietly looks you over, makes a face only you and your siblings recognize, and says sweetly, “Huh. Look at you. Did you get a new haircut?” And it’s not a question. 