Photo: Austrian Airlines

11 Signs You Are Dating a Flight Attendant

by Kara Mulder Nov 29, 2017

1. There is a collection of hotel pens, useless plastic key cards, notepads, and travel-size shampoos and lotions scattered around the house.

Every amenity in your partner’s home is a branded and travel-sized version of some travel product. You now have the option of using a pen from Hong Kong, hotel lotion from Bangkok, and a notepad from Miami. And the forgotten plastic key cards from ten different hotels? They really need to be thrown away.

2. You know the tricks to get an upgrade.

It doesn’t matter what flight you are on or where you are going, now that you date a flight attendant, you know to bring the crew treats. You subtly drop that you are in a relationship with “their kind” and secretly hope that it works out to an upgrade or free drinks.

3. The first thing your partner does, upon waking (more often than not, at odd hours of the day) is check Google maps to see their current location.

The consistent rotation of hotels, cities, airports, and airplanes have a tendency to make your flight attendant a little confused. It’s common for your partner to wake up in a panic because they can’t remember what city they are in.

4. Your partner lives out of a suitcase — even at home.

Having a bag always packed is standard and your flight attendant simply finds it easier to never truly unpack. It doesn’t mean she or he will leave you in an instant, it’s just less of a hassle to never really “land” anywhere.

5. You ask your flight attendant partner to bring you a glass of water and you are handed a “crew water” and some pretzels.

Crew water bottles begin to pile up in the pantry and in-flight snacks are a staple appetizer in your home.

6. When you ask when your flight attendant partner is coming over, they respond with, “My ETA is 1900.”

You understand military time, abbreviations, and a new “air lingo” you didn’t even know existed. “Bidding” isn’t a gambling term, “lines” do not refer to drugs, and “reserve” does not mean “the extra one.”

7. Dinner is at odd times, served on a tray, or eaten standing up.

Mealtimes are a new adventure for you. Dinner is a standing-only event and the conversation is a version of “Galley Gab” you never knew existed.

8. When you go out, your partner orders a glass of wine and a double shot espresso.

One has to fight that jet lag somehow, right?

9. Your text message conversations always include, “Where are you?”, “Where are you going?”, and “When are you coming home?”

Keeping track of their schedule is almost impossible. Once your relationship gets more serious, you might gain access to the scheduling system and be shown to read the codes, days, and flights, but until then, keep typing.

10. You go on lunch dates in Paris, dinner in New York, and coffee in Seattle — all in the same week.

The world is as small as two un-ticketed seats in business class (which are hard to come by these days) and as open as your work schedule.

11. You know your relationship is serious because you get the coveted “benefits.”

Flight benefits are the pre-engagement gifts or promise rings of the airline world — they mean commitment.

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