Photo: Dean Drobot/Shutterstock

5 Shocking Stories From Behind the Bar

Humor
by Melody Moulton Nov 15, 2017

1.

After I commented on the fact that two women sitting at a table across from the bar were wearing the same exact pair of designer heels, my co-worker, who had been serving them, told me that the women had met up there to confront their cheating boyfriend. Both women had been under the impression that they were in a monogamous relationship until one of them saw an intimate email that was sent from the boyfriend to the other woman. After comparing notes without him knowing, they realized he had been lying to them both for months and had gifted them the exact same pair of heels. They decided to call him out in public and wear the matching shoes for the occasion. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to see his initial reaction when he walked in the door but I did get to watch him sit in between them in a small horseshoe booth, sweating bullets for a good 45 minutes. It ended with him telling them that he needed to use the bathroom and them insisting he leaves his car keys to ensure that he was coming back. He either walked home or had a spare key because he snuck out the back door and never came back.

2.

Two guys had been sitting at a table, drinking Long Islands (RED FLAG) for a few hours. They had ordered and eaten dinner as well, but at that point, it was too late. One of them eventually starts puking all over the floor as his buddy began to hysterically laugh at him. My annoyed coworker walked over with a dirty bar rag and handed it to the offender as he pointed to the floor, to indicate to him that he was going to clean up his own mess. The kid was so hammered that he thanked my coworker for the dirty towel and started wiping off his face with it. My coworker then explained that the towel was to clean up the floor, so the drunk guy started mopping up the floor with it. To all of our horror, he quickly forgot what he was doing and started wiping his face with it again. To make matters worse, at this point his companion had busted out a camera and was taking photos of his drunk friend’s pathetic state.

3.

The hallway with the bathrooms was also where the back door to the bar was, which led to a gate into the alley. Someone must have left the gate open because one night, a customer came to me complaining that something weird was going on in the ladies’ room but refused to elaborate and quickly left the building. I alerted our bouncer who went to check on the situation. He walked into the bathroom to find a homeless woman naked from the waist down, washing herself in the sink. When she looked up and saw him, she said, “Excuse me, I’m trying to wash my ass” as she went about her business. He told her to wrap it up quickly and waited outside, then escorted her into the alley, making sure the gate was locked behind him.

4.

A small group of people were having drinks in the bar section of the restaurant I worked at while waiting for the rest of their party to arrive. It was a family gathering to celebrate someone’s birthday. They all seemed in good spirits as they quickly had 3-4 rounds before moving into the dining room. Sometime later, after they had finished eating and before they brought the cake out, I heard a commotion and looked up to see a man and woman from that party physically fighting and yelling at each other in the hallway to the dining room. The situation quickly dissipated as staff and other family members helped separate them. We kicked out the two people responsible and left the rest of the family continue on with the celebration. Turns out the two brawling were brother and sister. My bouncer told me later that while he waited outside in the parking lot with the sister for her cab to show up, she saw her brother drive past as a passenger in another vehicle. He said that she quickly turned around, pulled down her pants and mooned him.

5.

I was having a slow night at the bar and two young out-of-towners (barely over 21) came in. A few rounds later, a mother and daughter came in. The four of them get to talking, one thing leads to another and the seating arrangement changed from mom-daughter-boy-boy to boy-mom-daughter-boy and they branched off into two separate conversations. As the drinks flowed and inhibitions loosened, I looked up to see the daughter making out with the boy next to her while her mom sat on her other side, clearly getting some action up under her skirt from the other boy. It was absolutely horrifying and still haunts me to this day.

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