No one would ever accuse a Texas dad of choosing the carrot over the stick. Unlike California parents, who might be loose with their children’s whereabouts and activities, I’ve never met a laid-back father in Texas. Just like Texas, children have to win their independence from their parents; it isn’t given freely.
If you’re not a fan of corny humor filled with nonstop chuckling from the speaker (usually not the one listening), I recommend you don’t be born into a Texas family. Have you heard the one about the three-legged chicken?
Texas dads can’t stand BS — out of their mouths or coming from their child’s as an excuse. They want their sons and daughters Texas tough, and that means laying out the facts of life as they come: your dog isn’t on a farm in Amarillo; you’ll also probably get to see an R-rated movie before your Midwestern counterparts.
This is a common trait of dads across the world, believing they know everything about home improvement, construction, medicine, and everything you imagine your parents know at age six. The difference is… Texas dads usually have the experience to back up this claim. They can set a fracture in a splint, tar the roof, and hook up Direct TV to watch Fox News… just don’t ask them about Twitter.
“Yeah well, if a frog had wings, it wouldn’t bump his ass when he flew.” 