1. You saw someone get indignant because you don’t have an accent.
It’s really quite remarkable how many non-Texans expect us to speak as though we’re Matthew McConaughey’s brother or something. When we don’t fit the stereotype Hollywood has been sending out to the world for decades, some people actually get angry. Most of the time, I’ve had just people shrug it off and move on, but more than one person has actually called me a liar and assumed I’m from somewhere in the Midwest.
2. You went shooting just for the hell of it.
Even if you’re strongly in favor of gun control, that doesn’t mean you haven’t been tempted to visit a gun range or touch your daddy’s rifle that he keeps hidden in the closet (we all know where it is). Gun ranges aren’t exactly ubiquitous in Texas, but they’re common enough that someone anywhere in the state could suggest it for an outing and be taken seriously.
3. You got sick in the summer.
This isn’t because Texans are particularly susceptible to hay fever, but rather we have residents and businesses that don’t like to appreciate the 100+ degree weather in August, instead of keeping their air conditioning at a solid 70 degrees. Going back and forth in these conditions can make more than a few Texans catch a cold, especially if they’re dressed for the former.
4. You’ve been caught up in an amazing sunset more than once.
Our sky burns bright at night, and we’ve got so many wide open spaces it’s a minor miracle all Texans don’t stop what they’re doing during the twilight hours and just stare at the vibrant colors.
5. You went out of your way to eat food in the shape of Texas.
Could be anything: a Texas-shaped waffle, a cookie… my personal favorite was Texas pasta with lots of butter and salt. If I’m outside Texas and there’s a choice between regular toast and Texas toast on the menu, I know which one I’m ordering.
6. You realized you’ll never be the biggest or strongest in the state.
So, you weigh 300 lbs and think no one could possibly be bigger than you? Please – we’ve got Texans topping 400 lbs. You’re over six feet tall, in the best shape of your life, and think no one can take you? Think again; there’s guaranteed to be someone bigger and stronger. If it weren’t for the fact we’re all so proud to be Texan, this realization would be rather humbling.
7. You heard most people just assume you listen to country music.
Even with a live music scene like Austin’s bringing in artists from across the globe, Texas still has more than its share of country music stations. How else are you going to relate to people if you can’t nod your head to some Tim McGraw?
8. “Hold my beer.”
This could be anything Texas-worthy of setting aside a chilled beer in the summertime. Someone says it’s impossible to drive from Dallas to Houston in two hours? Hold my beer. Oh, you think this chili is too spicy for me? Hold my beer. We’ve all had these moments.
9. You followed up anyone clapping five times with the only appropriate phrase.
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