Mainers have that unconditional love for their state, a passion that drives everything we do. And whether we care to admit it or not, we’re a quirky bunch. We’re not afraid to make it clear that if you were not born in Maine, you will never be from Maine. It doesn’t matter if your family has been coming for summers since you were a kid, or if your grandparents own a house on the midcoast — nothing cuts it unless your birth certificate declares it. That said, you can still score some brownie points with the locals if you have ever participated in any of the following activities. This is just how we roll.
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How to Become a Mainer in 13 Easy Steps
1. Visit L.L. Bean between the hours of 2 AM and 5 AM.
Any Mainer knows that these are the best hours to browse about and avoid the throngs of shoppers who come from the less-favored New England states.
2. But don’t actually buy your Bean boots there. We do that at Goodwill.
A real Mainer will acquire hand-me-downs or buy second hand. We need that extra money for other gear, and the good thing about Bean boots is that they last forever. The lucky ones will find their pairs at the dump for free. Score!
3. Start using “wicked” unironically in sentences.
It is always either wicked hot or wicked cold. When it’s good, it’s wicked. When it’s bad, it’s wicked and then when it’s just OK, it’s still wicked. Even our toothpaste and deodorant are wicked.
4. Drink Allen’s Coffee Brandy.
Doesn’t matter what the weather is, Allen’s comes with every season. There’s no better way to kick a trip upta camp off right, or to chill out and watch the snow fall.
5. Move to Maine from “away” and then join every committee your town has to offer.
The locals will love you.
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6. Know how to pick lobster.
We don’t settle for anything but the best, because that’s what we’ve got around here. And you best not forget that sweet knuckle meat!
7. Always have your “everyday” flannel with you.
You’re not going to feel like yourself if your everyday flannel isn’t either on you or on the backseat of your car. When the mosquitos hit on that warm summer night, you’re gonna need it.
8. Complain every time you see Massachusetts license plate.
Go HOME.
9. Own a camp so you can go “upta” it.
It could be a hunting shack in the middle of the woods, or a cottage by the sea — you just need a place where you can escape the ol’ lady.
10. Go bass fishing and exaggerate when your friends ask you how many you caught and how big they were.
Friggin’ thing was 35 inches, I’m tellin’ ya!
11. Understand the geography of “Downeast”.
Rockland? Camden? The debates are never-ending. Non-Mainers might not understand why we would describe anything in our state as “down” from anywhere other than Canada, but once you know, you know.
12. Have a friend that is trying to start a craft brewery.
With dozens of new companies popping up each year, one of your friends is bound to be brewing beer. Or maybe it’s you. If you’re on the east coast and trying to start a craft brewery, you’re probably a Mainer. We can’t get enough of the stuff. People try to tell us we have enough beer, but we don’t want to hear any of that. Must be the cold weather that makes us Nor’easterners stubborn.
13. Develop a sense of pride for the number 207.
With only one area code in the state, we all find delight when the number randomly appears. We also tend to use it to describe things, or where we’re from, to non-Mainers.