Francis Mallmann Is a Pretentious Turd: 9 Reasons We Love To Hate Him
by
Matador Creators
Aug 11, 2017
3. This is the unfriending ceremony he’s so perfected. The pots are cold and empty, just like his heart.
4. He laughs in the face of aquatic safety.
5. The same goes for railroads.
6. Shovels are his spatulas. Continents, his playgrounds. We get it, you “go big” — as all men named Francis must.
7. This fish experiment isn’t gonna work, and he knows it.
8. He just couldn’t leave these poor pineapples alone.
9. He possesses a virulently unapologetic joie de vivre, has a stable of young lovers across the globe, and lives better in one afternoon than most of us do in a lifetime. And for that Francis Mallmann, we spit on you! 
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