Photo: Benoit Daoust/Shutterstock

Nine Ways to Humiliate Yourself in Maine

by Lauren Crosby Apr 11, 2018

With its oceans, mountains, and colorful characters, America’s 23rd state is a must-see for those who crave adventure and serene settings. If you’re not a local, though, make sure you don’t commit any of these Maine faux pas: these nine actions are the easiest way to embarrass yourself in Maine.

1. Drive under the speed limit.

Mainers are a punctual bunch — if you’re five minutes early, you are late. We understand how quaint and picturesque our state is, but please, move it along.

2. Wear your fanciest outfit to a lobster dinner.

We get it, you want to look good for that Insta pic, but anyone who has used their bare hands to rip into the subtle sweetness of a softshell knows that it is a messy task. Butter will splatter, crustacean innards will fly, and that cute bib provided by several touristy restaurants will not save your trendy Ralph Lauren polo.

3. Pronounce “Saco, Maine” as Sayco, Mayne.

Famed for Funtown Splashtown USA, scenic Route 1, and delicious eats — it’s “Sock-o.” Save your western accent for the southwest.

4. Have a Massachusetts license plate.

You’re just putting yourself on display.

5. Act like you’re too good for Dunkin’.

Dunkin’ Donuts is a New England staple. We all have our favorite boutique, organic coffee shop, but Dunkin’ will always be number one.

6. Say you’ve been to Maine if you’ve only been to Kennebunkport.

Maine has so much more to offer than a day trip from Boston. Even if you’ve crossed the border for a few hours, Mainers don’t consider that part of the state “Maine” — they consider it a wealthier Massachusetts. Get yourself to Portland at least!

7. Stand in line at Red’s Eats on a weekend in the summer.

You are the reason why Route 1 is awful and always backed up.

8. If ya fathah ain’t from Maine, you ain’t frahm Maine bub.

Locals only. Don’t try to puff up your chest if your parents own a summerhouse in Cape Elizabeth. You will get that ego kicked out of you in dive bars spanning from the coast of Boothbay Harbor to the mountains of Eustis.

9. Not understand the Northern heart.

Maine people may be rough and tough on the outside, but we are teddy bears on the inside. We will spontaneously plow your driveway, mow your lawn, or bring you veggies from our gardens — however, it takes a little time for us to warm up to people who we don’t know. Especially if you’re a Masshole.

Discover Matador

Save Bookmark

We use cookies for analytics tracking and advertising from our partners.

For more information read our privacy policy.