Photo: Anna Kraynova/Shutterstock

How Travel Made Me Undateable

by Melissa Douglas Sep 26, 2017

Although many of my peers are starting to settle down, get engaged, and have children, I am single and have been for several years now. It would be nice to have some companionship, but my lifestyle as a perpetual traveler has made me undateable. Here’s why.

1. I am constantly traveling.

The main reason that getting into a relationship, or at least anything more substantial than a passing fling, has not been possible is that I am constantly traveling and never in one place long enough to establish roots.

Dating a girl who travels may seem exciting at first but when it all boils down to it, who really wants a girlfriend who is never there? How do you develop something with someone who is always absent? Long-distance relationships are notoriously difficult to maintain — even for established couples — so how can something that is still blossoming hope to succeed if one of the partners takes off?

2. I have become a social recluse.

You will rarely (if ever) see me out at the bar. I live like a mole person because I cannot justify the costs. Long-term travel means having to live incredibly frugally in order to be able to sustain this lifestyle, so I usually opt for cooking at my place with friends instead of going out. I spend my weeknights writing, blogging, or reading at home — and that’s not where the hot guys are!

3. Travel made me selfish.

I’ll get halfway through an article about Israel, decide that I want to go to Israel, book the flights, and proceed to throw things into a suitcase. I’ll quickly scrutinize my bank account to figure out how to make the abysmal amount of money stretch and decide that I’ll worry about the details later.

Who would be happy with someone just disappearing off whenever they pleased? And my freedom to take off at a moment’s notice is non-negotiable.

4. I became too accustomed to my own company.

I have become so used to being by myself that I don’t know how I would adapt to having someone else tagging along. I started solo traveling out of necessity: no-one wanted to come with me so I went alone. As time went on, however, I began to value the freedom and flexibility that traveling alone allows. I like to do things my way and on my watch.

5. I don’t proactively look for options.

Since I know that I won’t be sticking around in one place for any real length of time, I don’t find it worthwhile to actively look for people to date — saying goodbye only leads to heartache. I have also started living with the assumption that the right person is just going to fall right into my lap one day as I’m exploring — I don’t want to meet someone by swiping right on a dating app.

6. I’ve forgotten all about the art of flirtation.

I spend most of my time trekking through deserts, clambering over stuff, and generally not worrying about the correct texting and flirting etiquette. Being by myself all this time has made me blunt and honest, which I suspect is not at all intriguing, sexy, or mysterious.

7. I have become fiercely independent.

I am quite comfortable and happy with my own company. I don’t need a relationship to feel complete, and I don’t believe that there is anything a partner could do for me that I couldn’t do myself.

8. I am already in a committed relationship with wanderlust.

Whenever I’m not traveling, I’m thinking about traveling, writing about traveling, or researching where to travel to next. I am hopelessly infatuated with wanderlust and any partner would always come second.

Discover Matador