THERE’S AN ENTIRE subsection of America that has no interest in watching the Super Bowl, and watches it just for the advertisements. In the age of YouTube, though — now that advertisers have realized that if they’re paying $4.5 million dollars for a Super Bowl ad spot, they might as well get as much exposure out of it as they can — you can watch the ads without having to watch the game. Here are all of the Super Bowl ads that have already been posted online, in alphabetical order.
BMW’s “Newfangled Idea”
Katie Couric and Bryant Gumbel reunite to recreate their clueless 1994 discussion of the internet — this time to discuss BMW’s new electric car.
Bud Light’s “Real Life Pac-Man”
Bud Light’s ongoing successful “Let’s throw a party for some poor schmuck who’s so impoverished that he has to drink our beer,” ad campaign continues with the latest schmuck being thrown into a real-life version of Pac-Man — which admittedly, looks like a ton of fun.
Budweiser’s “Clydesdale Beer Run”
Because honestly, the only way you’re buying a case of Budweiser is if a horse bullies you into it.
Budweiser’s “Lost Puppy”
“Budweiser: get drunk on our beer and lose your cute little puppy dog so he’ll be rained on and attacked by wolves.”
The secret to being a really good, non-negligent father? Soap.
E!’s “The Royals”
E! has a new TV show that’s about English royalty starring the woman from Austin Powers who turned out to be a fembot. It can’t be bad, right? Right?
Kia’s “The Perfect Getaway”
A commercial about how Pierce Brosnan’s getting tired of cashing in on James Bond by making the poor guy cash in on James Bond.
Lexus’ “Make Some Noise”
If you buy a Lexus NX, you’ll be locked into a parking garage and you’ll be forced to perform in STOMP.
The guys at Mercedes-Benz spend 62 seconds kicking the corpse of Aesop by defiling his most famous fable.
Mophie makes a complex theological argument that an all-knowing god somehow didn’t know to purchase their all-powerful phone. Also, the universe is actually a phone, which I guess makes us apps.
Hot Tub Time Machine 2
Hot Tub Time Machine 2 puns on Deflategate by pointing out that “balls” is another word for testicles. This ad wins this year’s “Truest Representation of the Product” award.
Question for the runners of the Terminator franchise: if Arnie’s Terminator is a robot with synthetic skin, why is the robot aging?
Snickers’ “The Brady Bunch”
Actually a pretty solid commercial, but it would’ve been better if it’d turned really dark and violent and had turned into another Machete sequel.
Kim Kardashian wasn’t sure everyone knew how into herself she was, so she decided to make this PSA.
Victoria’s Secret does not need to be edgy, funny, or creative. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.