1. When your friend invites you to stay at the most luxurious hotel in town
2. Which provides limousine services
3. And elevator concierge!
4. But the outrageously strong elevator smell is just way too much!
5. When you find out you have a personal butler and his job is to fulfill all your needs
6. But in an hour’s time you get fed up with them following your every step
7. When your check-in takes forever because you have a three-page pillow, linen, towel, meal, toiletry, and “everything else” preference menu to fill in
8. And you end up spending half an hour every night trying to get rid of all those extra pillows
9. When you realise your bathroom has 2 toilets, 2 sinks, a huge-ass antique bath, and is just as big as the studio flat you currently live in
10. But when you slip into that huge, oh-so-soft cotton robe, your bitterness suddenly fades away
11. When you realise you have an unlimited supply of cute, luxuriously packed and branded toiletries
12. And you wonder why there’s a telephone next to the toilet seat. Does anyone ever make calls while taking a dump? Maybe, if they run out of toilet paper.
13. When it takes forever to undo the fancy end-rolling on your toilet paper roll
14. When you find you have unlimited usage of a well-stocked minibar full of those cute little champagne bottles
15. When you find a piece of handmade chocolate left on your pillow every night
16. When you wish there was no dress code at the hotel bar
17. But when you finally see how amazing it is, you’re willing to pay 5x as much for a drink, just because!
18. When you can’t stop saying, “This is amazing” to everything you see in the hotel
19. When your buffet breakfast features things you’ve never even heard of
20. When the ladies at the table in front of you sipping soya lattes are clearly judging you for going for fourths
21. When you get a cute farewell souvenir to add that cherry on the top
22. Followed by thousands of emails asking for feedback on your stay