4. Euro Disney
Look, I get it if you want to go to Disneyland or Disney World. Disneyland kinda fits into the whole Southern California, ‘Let’s all go to the movies!’ thing, and Disney World…well, you’re in Orlando, what else are you going to do?
But if you’re set on your tackiness having a vaguely international flair to it, go to Epcot. Don’t go to Euro Disney. (It’s actually been rebranded as “Disneyland Paris,” but I’m not going to condone that crime against one of the most culturally rich cities in the world.) I know it’s tough being a parent, but maybe take your kids to a real European castle, like the gorgeous Mont Saint-Michel in Northern France, or to Neuschwanstein Castle in Bavaria, which the Disney Castle is based off of.
You’re exempted from my scorn if you live in France, and your kids won’t shut up about Mickey Mouse.