I regret to inform you that it is not working out.
Don’t get me wrong. There are many, many things I enjoy and admire about you. Take the unlimited coffee, for instance. Unlimited coffee is nothing to be sneezed at. At my present rate of caffeine consumption, I have calculated that by providing me with free coffee, you save me at least 68 cents worth of grounds alone a day, not to mention the trouble of making it, and the savings are far greater if I consider the cost of a double-shot-mocha-cappuccino at one of the fancy coffee places down the street.