1. Thou shalt turn thy wheels into the curb.
Aka “hill parking.” If you park on a steep hill and don’t turn your wheels into the curb, and your tinder hookup notices on returning to your car (say, from your artisanal toast date), then count on only getting to second base.
2. Thou shalt not drink bottled water.
San Francisco basically gets “Evian”-quality water piped into its sinks from a place in the Sierra Nevadas called the Hetch Hetchy Reservoir. Before the Hetch Hetchy was dammed, it was one of the most beautiful mountain valleys in the world — known by John Muir as “Yosemite’s little brother.” This means that San Francisco’s tap water kind of more resembles holy water, and not only suffices but is delicious and part of the experience of the city. So don’t go fucking up the environment by drinking bottled water.