1.

A normal mom makes an effort to cook healthy food for you.
An Austrian mom cooks Kaiserschmarrn, Marillenknödel, and Mohnnudeln for you, all topped with an extra portion of sugar.

2.

A normal mom makes your dad play Santa Claus for Christmas.
An Austrian mom makes your dad play Santa Claus for Christmas and your uncle his demoniac helper Krampus to properly scare you, just in case you weren’t such a good kid after all.

3.

A normal mom spends her Sunday winter afternoons sledding with you in the snow.
An Austrian mom spends her Sunday winter afternoons watching the World Cup skiing, praying intensely for Austria’s glorious victory.

4.

A normal mom lets you grow up with Disney and Pixar movies.
An Austrian mom lets you grow up with all the Austrian classics from the 50s and 60s, be it Vier Mädels aus der Wachau or Im weißen Rößl. She also strongly encourages having Peter Alexander as your first TV-crush.

6.

A normal mom goes to the supermarket to buy some mushrooms.
An Austrian mom sends you off into the forest to collect chanterelles and ceps yourself.

7.

A normal mom sooner or later adapts her language when she moves to Germany.
An Austrian mom keeps feeding you Ribisl, Topfen, Paradeiser, and Kren instead of Johannisbeeren, Quark, Tomaten, and Meerrettich.

8.

A normal mom doesn’t care that much about your name day (or might not even know what ‘name day’ is).
An Austrian mom will always get you a little something, no matter how old you are.

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9.

A normal mom will go to the pharmacy when you are sick.
An Austrian mom will prepare her secret anti-cough wonder-syrup out of onions, sugar and — most importantly — lots of love.

10.

A normal mom doesn’t care that much if you want to get citizenship of the country you were born in and grew up in, if it was not in Austria.
An Austrian mom threatens to disinherit you if you do so, especially if you want to become a German, no matter is she has been living in Germany herself for the majority of her life.

11.

A normal mom is not that interested in your ballroom dancing abilities.
For an Austrian mom, your education is not complete if you are not able to waltz like Elisabeth and Franz-Joseph themselves back in their glorious days.

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