1.You know the difference between whiskey and bourbon, and your blood boils whenever non-Southerners confuse the two.
One last time for the Yankees in the back: all bourbon is whiskey, not all whiskey is bourbon. And for the love of all things holy, learn the correct one for Jack Daniel’s.
2. You’re not disgusted by having to pick gnats and other various bugs out of your drink.
I mean, hey — they’re trying to escape the humidity like the rest of us.