1. For you the best day of the quadra natalícia is the 24th of December.
Delicious food on the table and family around it. Hell yes, it might even be the best evening of the year.
2. You are afraid of finding a fava bean inside a Bolo Rei.
Not because it is against health and safety, but because you want to avoid the queues in the pastelaria to buy the next colourfully decorated, delicious, round cake.
3. You worry that Norway might cut off the supply of dried salty cod.
And you might end up celebrating the Consoada aboard a TAP airplane heading to the Scandinavian Peninsula, starting a career as a pirate or praying to Poseidon to change the sea currents.
4. You always knew Santa Claus wouldn’t go down the chimney.
Not only because your dad’s belly is wider than your chimney, but also because you manage to rip apart the presents from your sapatinho at midnight.
5. You also know Santa Claus doesn’t bring presents.
Menino Jesus does.
6. You expect your boss to let you finish work early on Christmas eve.
Doesn’t he know Consoada is in a couple of hours and you still need to run to the shop and buy a present for your mother?
7. You expect McDonalds to be empty durante a quadra natalícia.
Even if they create a McConsoada menu!
8. You can barely keep up with the festive cakes.
Before we had Bolo Rei, Bolo Rainha, Aletria, Arroz Doce, Azevias, Broas, Coscorões, Filhóses, Lampreia and Sonhos. Now, to the latest gastronomic Christmassy creations, someone has added Bolo Rei de Chocolate and Bolo Rei Desmanchado. What else are we going to come up with next?
9. You dread receiving another piece of underwear from your mother.
But you will feel eternally grateful if she buys it in blue.
10. You would never consider spending Christmas eve with one of your friends.
Unless you were married to one of them!
11. You wonder how many postcards you would have to send.
Instead of Boas Festas texts. Especially when you feel you might be suffering from a repetitive strain injury.
12. You are an expert at finding excuses to miss the Missa do Galo.
Yes, of course you will stay with the children. After all, someone needs to look after them while they play the new computer games.
13. For you the holidays only finish on the 6th of January.
With a sudden urge to visit friends living in Spain during “Kings’ Day” to either receive or give a few more presents.