1. You want a date night at DePalma’s, but realize with kids in tow, you’re safer at Dos Palmas.
You’ve learned the hard way that it’s safer to compromise in order to survive.
2. You have had a midwife present during labor and delivery.
Every doctor at Saint Mary’s Hospital seems to come with a team of them, and unless you had a home birth, midwives have remained faithfully by your side.
3. And then when you go for Lunch at Tlaloc, you run into your kid’s pediatrician.
The town is really that small, and Tlaloc is too.
4. You’ve driven to Normaltown and bought baby gear off a stranger’s porch, without ever meeting them in person.
Strangers leave expensive baby gear out for you, you leave money under their doormats. Somehow, in Athens, this works.
5. You teach your kids to refrain from “bathroom words” yet take them for BBQ Sandwiches at Butt Hutt.
Inevitably, you brace yourself for the word “butt” to be blurted out continuously for the remainder of your meal.
6. After walking your kids to school, you head to Jittery Joes.
You proudly support your locally owned coffee shop, and ruthlessly combat anyone who tells you Starbucks is better. Plus, that Jittery Joe’s bumper sticker looks amazing on your car.
7. You stand in line to register for ACC Leisure Sports, even though the only sport they have for your toddler son is gymnastics.
Boys have to wait until at least age 5 to enroll in any other type of sport so gymnastics it is, and everyone is ok with that.
8. Summer is not complete without a visit to the Splash Pad.
Who needs to be in a pool all summer? For $1.00 the entrance, you know this is totally better.
9. Saturdays in the fall are spent tailgating or avoiding the UGA campus completely.
It’s all or nothing.
10. ….but either way, at least some of your child’s wardrobe is red and black.
There is no way you will miss the chance to get out that cute red and black polka dotted dress for your two-year-old on game day and teach her to say “GO DAWGS!”
11 . …And the rest is clothing from consignment sales, which half the time your kids wear mix matched.
For some reason the town is slowly being taken over by tiny humans rocking vintage. And most of it rarely even goes together. Athens parents know it’s all about “freedom of style”, “creativity” and “expression”. No one will judge you.
12. As for you: you just wear your baby.
Who needs a graphic tee when you can just plop your baby in front of you during Athfest? Plus, now your hands are free for making origami swans and ecofriendly earrings.
13. You can’t imagine raising your kids anywhere else.