A normal mom will let you eat frozen foods on occasion.
A Polish mom will spend time cooking naleśniki, gołąbki, bigosz, fasolówkę and biały barszcz or żurek.
A normal mom will compliment you on your outfit.
A Polish mom will tell you everything that is wrong with it, and only when you change or cover up the offending item, will she say, “A tak dobrze wyglądasz.”
A normal mom will not give you a refill of food if you don’t ask for it.
A Polish mom will fill your plate whether you like it or not.
A normal mom will let you eat certain foods with your hands.
A Polish mom will hand you a fork, knife, and spoon with your meal, and expect that you use them.
A normal mom will not bring anything for the guests if they say that they do not want anything.
A Polish mum will put the babka, sernik, makowiec, chruściki and jabłecznik on the table anyway, along with the tea or coffee.
A normal mom will ask your teacher why you’re failing.
A Polish mom will get on your case to do better.
A normal mom will let you stay indoors at times.
A Polish mom will drag you outside for a walk or to help her garden.
A normal mom will set automatic sprinklers to water her garden.
A Polish mom will spend three hours hand-watering everything.
A normal mom will take you to the doctor.
A Polish mom will give you Amol, put on olej kamforowy, and only when you feel half dead, take you to the doctor.
A normal mom drives according to the laws in the state.
A Polish mom is one third street drag racer, one third NASCAR racer, and one third normal driver, and she chooses the driving persona depending on the situation or her mood.
A normal mom will give you pointers when you begin driving and then stay silent.
A Polish mom will constantly tell you how to drive, and will press on the invisible brake on the passenger’s side while simultaneously yelling “ZWOLNIJ!” two miles away from the red light even though you still have time to slow down.
A normal mom will treat your boyfriend as your boyfriend.
A Polish mom starts asking where is the engagement ring or when you’re moving in together when you first announce you have a boyfriend.
A normal mom will let you text on your phone or chat on Facebook.
A Polish mom will lean over your shoulder and ask who you’re talking to, and why.
A normal mom asks questions , well, like a normal person.
A Polish mom is the KGB interrogator whom you should fear — and if she is not satisfied with your answers, she will continue to do so until you’re completely worn out and worn down.
A normal mom will talk to you a few times a week.
A Polish mom needs to talk to you every single day at least once by phone, and the rest of the day she needs to constantly keep in touch by text.
A normal mom says she loves you and leaves you alone.
A Polish mom shows she loves you by constantly butting into your life.
A normal mom will bring you antibiotics and let you sleep.
A Polish mom will bring you antibiotics, a heaping plate of food, and tea with lemon before helping you change your PJs so you have dry clothes while you sleep.
Photo: David Goehring