1. We will suggest a song, and while you are listening to it, we will stand next to you explaining the meaning of each single phrase, until you reach a point when you can’t distinguish if the song has finished or if our voice is part of the track.
2. Even though we’re relentless critics of our pais de mierda, when we travel abroad we want everybody to know right away that we’re from Argentina, el mejor país del mundo.
3. We talk about how amazing Patagonia is when we are in Alaska, about how breathtaking Iguazu Falls are when we are at Niagara, and about how wonderful other countries are when we are in Argentina.
4. We dare to teach the Tibetans how to solve their ancient mysteries in two or three simple steps, and of course, we talk to them in Spanish. Easy!
5. We talk loud.
6. Very loud.
7. We kiss you on the cheek when we say hello and goodbye. Always. It doesn´t matter if you are a man, a woman or a dog (we love dogs!).
8. We are experts in opening other people’s fridges.
9. Even though we’re fierce rivals with our neighboring Uruguayans and Chileans back home, when we encounter them abroad we feel an unexpected sense of brotherhood–and have a party!
10. We are the best hosts. And when we are guests we will still act like the hosts.
11. We can turn from being modest and peaceful moderators, to crazy, eager and indefatigable arguers if contradicted in essential issues of life, such as “who is the best football player in history?”.
12. Our backpacker-budget will not hold us back from expensive activities such as a private full diving course in Similan Islands (we’ll also invite our friends), even if we have to spend our last penny on it.
13. We proclaim the “Patria Grande” (Latin America as one only Nation), but at the same time we explain to the Brazilians & Uruguayans that football, mate and Tango are exclusively Argentinean.
14. Every second word we say is either “boluuudo” or “che” or a combination thereof.
15. Rock and Roll is argentino and Charly García is the biggest star.
16. Sooner or later we will surround ourselves with other Argentines, with whom we will try to show the world the benefits of being from Argentina.
17. We are los reyes del chamuyo, which is an exquisite mix of bullshitting while showing the most charming personality.
18. We ask lots of advice to finally end up doing whatever we want.