1. Your perfect Saturday night includes the eardrum-shattering combination of Michael Jackson, white vinyl couches and 40s at Raiford’s. As a matter of fact, you arrived via the Raiford’s limo.
2. You can spot a tourist by whether or not they giggle when they order a “big ass beer” on Beale Street.
3. You’re no stranger to running into RP Tracks to order shots before the train is done passing.
4. You’ve participated in a chugging contest versus a goat at Silky’s… and lost.
5. You prefer your bloody mary glass lined with BBQ dry rub. The sausage and cheese can be thrown right in.
6. Enjoying a beer while sitting on the edge of a bathtub in a former brothel is not even the weirdest part of your typical weekend routine.
7. You know that sometimes your drink can predict the future. I’m looking at you, “Call-a-Cab.”
8. You’ve taken shots and selfies with an NBA player, a rapper, and an Elvis impersonator.
9. Or you’ve donned sequins and sideburns yourself for an Elvis-themed bar crawl.
10. You know what a Flying Saucer smells like but not how to get the smell out of your hair.
11. At least once while out in another city you’ve asked the question, “What do you mean I can’t take my beer with me? It’s in a plastic cup!”
12. You or someone you know has gotten drunk and sworn they could complete the Kookamonga Challenge.
13. You know a Central BBQ cup makes a suitable vessel for anything from road beers to Jack and Cokes.
14. You are grossly offended by any cover charge over $5.
15. You know someone with a cup holder on his/her bicycle specifically for the purpose of toting tallboys of PBR.
16. You’ve competed in the Wine Races and know how to successfully complete an obstacle course while carrying a tray of full wine glasses. Or at least how to fall with flair.
17. Parking Can Be Fun, yes, but it can also be where you pregame before you’re legal.
18. Your bartender has picked you up at your apartment on a 4-wheeler to take you back to the bar on at least one occasion.
19. If the sun’s not rising, it’s too early to call it a night. And speaking of Fireball…
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