2. You’ve had a beer on the bluff at AutoZone Park and can’t recount one thing that happened during the game.
3. You’ve heard the tornado sirens so many times you don’t even notice them anymore.
4. The city has become completely overrun with side-burned impersonators for Elvis Week.
5. Some dude at your work has bragged about all the fireworks he snagged over in Arkansas.
6. You’ve sat in your car in a parking lot for an extended period of time because you’re fearful of what will happen if you leave the air conditioning…
7. …And you’ve parked blocks far away from your destination because it’s the only parking spot in the shade.
8. You’ve set off on your annual summer road trip… to Destin, Florida.
9. You’ve given up all hope of wearing your hair down and making your face up.
10. You’ve sought refuge from the intense heat in the just-as-hot waters of Pickwick.
11. Your seat belt has burned a hole through your neck skin.
12. You’ve broken into your old apartment complex to use the pool. (You paid rent for two whole years; you’re still entitled, damn it!)
13. Your hair smells perpetually of grill smoke and citronella.
14. You’ve reminisced about the good ol’ Adventure River days — what you wouldn’t give!
15. You’ve rocked out at a Peabody Rooftop party… where all the good air is.
16. You’ve suffered the world’s most worth-it brain freeze at Jerry’s Sno Cones.
17. You start letting the heat dictate how many mimosas you have for brunch at Majestic.
18. You’ve played in a Memphis Kickball League game.
19. You’ve contemplated jumping in the fountain at the Memphis Zoo.