1. Show reruns of Law & Order SVU at your bar instead of the Sox game.

2. Smile or talk to them in public even though you don’t know them. Especially if you don’t know them.

3. Use your blinker and politely ask to be let over into traffic.

4. When they ask you, “How ’bout that game last night?” answer with, “What game?”

5. Complain that you’re freezing when it gets down to 50°F.

6. Head to Florida for the summer.

7. Plan a dinner date to Red Lobster.

8. DON’T join in with the “Sweet Caroline” sing-along that pops up in every bar you visit.

9. Have no clue what you want when you get up to the Dunks counter.

10. Better yet, just go to Starbucks.

11. Mention how convenient and prompt the T consistently is.

12. Fail to acknowledge the changing of the leaves.

13. Claim you don’t have time for apple picking.

14. Ask what that thing called “Deflategate” is.

15. Claim that even though you’re from Tennessee, you actually hate country music.

16. Tell your boss you’re staying home on account of the 6 inches of snow on the ground.

17. Profess your dislike for hockey.

18. Just start reading city names off the map — no one will have a clue what you’re talking about.

19. Sympathize with Bill Buckner, the poor guy…

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