20 Things Only Someone Who Lives in a Van Will Understand
1. You know that while your friends and family back home think you’re enjoying a magical night sleeping next to enchanted forests and lapping lakes…
You’re actually white-knuckling it down some dark alley trying to find a safe haven for a couple hours of shut eye.
2. You’ve found yourself arguing at a campground that your van is, in fact, NOT a 40-ft RV and you should therefore not have to pay the same price for a spot.
After all, you’re practically a tent, right?
3. But nothing tops that feeling of bliss as you pull into that very spot with ease and set up your kit in mere minutes.
Whilst the wife of the 40-ft RV that pulled in at the same time is still hollering ‘MORE TO THE RIGHT BOB!’
4. If you’re lucky enough to have a toilet, multi-tasking becomes second nature.
Because while taking care of business, you also have the ability to make pancakes.
5. Personal space will never again be an issue in your relationship.
Especially after your first pancake breakfast.
6. The sensation of slowly slipping out of your bed because you are parked on an incline has taught you how to eagle eye the flattest surface on any given topography.
7. If you stay more than one day anywhere at the same location you start considering yourself a ‘resident.’
8. You know what it feels like to get heart palpitations every time a height restriction sign shows up on a bridge.
And your momentary ‘height amnesia’ kicks in.
9. Eau de Bonfire has become your new personal scent.
10. Packing cupboards and drawers has become so precise that even after a few drinks in pitch black darkness, you can still find that one last toothpick.
11. ‘Dressing-up’ has come to mean changing out of your clothes more than once a week.
12. You’re always prepared for a senior traveler to pull up a chair.
So you can listen to their story about how they once had a van like yours. And they shouldn’t have ever let it go.
13. You have a shrine of items on your dashboard that looks like a collection of trash.
There’s always a hula girl.
14. You have acquired the supernatural abilities to make a small McDonalds coffee last up to 4 hours.
Not because of the free Internet, of course.
15. You know what it feels like to see a laundry mat after weeks.
And you actually fight over who gets to put the coins in first.
16. You’ve broken down and had someone stop to take a selfie with you.
17. Pasta and tomato sauce cooked over a bonfire after a long day of driving tastes as good as dining in any top restaurant.
18. Showering: it’s something that probably only happens in those 40-foot RVs.
19. There’s never a need for an alarm clock because the slightest gap in your curtains is equivalent to the light from a supernova that’s perfectly angled into your eyeballs.
20. A lot of photographs have your reflection in them because you just take them through your windshield.
Because let’s face it, life looks better when you’re on the road.