1. You get mocked for over-apologizing, all the time.
And are genuinely sorry about that.
2. You’ve been asked over a thousand times if it’s cold in Canada.
You know parts of the US are just as cold as parts of Canada, but you smile politely and tell them how glad you are to not live in an igloo anymore.
3. You wish the Canadian Prime Minister was running in the 2016 US Election.
4. American Thanksgiving is way too late and way too close to Christmas.
But you figure that’s more reason to eat pumpkin pie twice a year.
5. Homo milk doesn’t exist.
Also, you can’t find bagged milk. You’re not unhappy about that.
6. It’s assumed you know how to speak French.
Except the conversation ends after “bonjour”.
7. You’ve learned to ignore the red underline in Microsoft Word.
Your friends think you can’t spell and your college professors are permanently annoyed with your inclusion of the letter “u”.
8. You don’t understand how “huh?” and “what?” have been replaced with “I beg your pardon?” and “excuse me?”
9. The word “washrooom” is no longer in your vernacular.
10. You can’t find ketchup chips anywhere.
11. Mail comes on Saturdays, which means bills do, too.
You’re now used to avoiding the mail entirely on Saturdays.
12. You still can’t figure out the meaning of freshman, sophomore, junior or senior, or in which order they go.
13. You’re still amazed alcohol is available inside grocery and convenience stores.
Talk about convenient shopping.
14. You’ve been asked if you know so-and-so’s cousin in MontreaL… when you’re from Vancouver.
No one asks Americans if they know their Uncle Craig in Kentucky or Aunt Margaret in Maine.
15. When you refer to KD, no one knows what you’re talking about.
For that matter, you still can’t find ketchup chips.
16. You’re constantly getting mocked for pronouncing “house”, “about” and “out.”
A boat? No, about!
17. You aren’t served white vinegar with your french fries.
Sure, ketchup works… but it’s just not the same.
18. You no longer know what it’s like to live without toilet seat covers.
I once overhead a group of girls talking in a bathroom at the Vancouver International Airport. “I can’t wait to get back to the US!” One of them said. “Me, too!” Another replied. “Thank god for toilet seat covers.”
19. Ethnic foods like Australian vegemite and Dutch cheeses are harder to find.
Let’s not even mention the Asian food-mecca, T&T.
20. You can’t understand why America won’t join the rest of the world and go metric.
Enough with 70 degree days, or for that matter, 1/16th of an inch.
21. You’re happy to fill up your gas tank
Seriously. Compared to Canada, filling up in California is nothing.
22. The DMV is everyone’s worst nightmare–including yours.
You’ve taken the American driving test, had your picture taken, and received your license…speaking of which…
23. You hate revealing your Canadian passport because you look like a criminal.
Americans are welcome to smile in their passport and driver’s license photos. Canadians? Not so much.
24. You don’t understand America’s sudden obsession with donuts — especially bacon donuts.
Tim Horton’s has been shilling the sugary holes (the best part of the donut) on every corner for years.
25. You wear warm clothing to sports games.
Only to realize you’re no longer in an ice rink but overheated in a baseball stadium. Pass the Super-Size pop, please. Sorry, I mean soda.