25 things you’ll never hear someone from Memphis say

1. “I’m totally over that whole John Calipari thing.”

2. “Y’all wanna go swimming? The Mississippi’s right there.”

3. “I got us reservations at the Hard Rock Cafe for 7 p.m.”

4. “I don’t know anyone at this party.”

5. “This sketchy hole-in-the-wall? No way, let’s get out of here.”

6. “I wish there was a way to identify which Kroger we are at…”

7. “Just wear your flip-flops to Music Fest, it’s not going to rain.”

8. “The line at Gus’s is too long; let’s go somewhere else.”

9. “Memphis… Nashville… basically the same thing. Tennessee is Tennessee.”

10. “Oh my god, tornado sirens! What do we do?”

11. “No, I don’t know anyone who works for FedEx.”

12. “I don’t really like Pancho’s Cheese Dip. Why, do you?”

13. “I hear it might snow. That’s fine; I’ve already got all the bread and milk I need.”

14. “Have you tried that North Carolina style? Now that’s real BBQ.”

15. “I never really liked grocery shopping at the Children’s Museum when I was a kid.”

16. “I’ll have unsweet tea, please.”

17. “Justin Timber-who?”

18. “I can’t wait to go to Graceland again this weekend!”

19. “Look at me! I’m 10 feet off of Beale!”

20. “Where should we go out this weekend? Mississippi or Arkansas?”

21. “Can y’all believe how nice the weather is this summer? I think I’ll wear my hair down.”

22. “What’s the big deal? It’s just tap water.”

23. “I had no idea the Tigers were in the tournament. None whatsoever.”

24. “May is my least favorite month of the whole year, it’s so boring.”

25. “Don’t worry; I’ll be there in five minutes. I’ll just take Poplar.”