Photo: William Perugini/Shutterstock

30 Things You'll Never Hear a Canadian Say

by Claire Litton Cohn Jul 23, 2015

1. Oh, we’re just like the States.

2. I honestly think Quebec drivers are some of the best in the world.

3. Sure, I could find Nunavut on a map!

4. Prime Minister Harper is one of the best PMs we’ve ever had.

5. Winter’s not THAT long.

6. Winter’s not THAT cold.

7. I hate maple syrup.

8. I hate Tim Horton’s.

9. I hate hockey.

10. I can’t wait to move to Saskatoon!

11. Boy, apartments in Vancouver sure are cheap.

12. No, I am NOT sorry!

13. Our money is boring. Also that whole thing about it smelling like maple syrup is a lie.

14. It’s summer! Ugh, let’s stay inside and watch TV.

15. Huh, I didn’t know Jim Carrey was Canadian. William Shatner, too? No way!

16. It doesn’t take very long to drive from one side of the country to the other. It’s kind of like Europe that way: everything is so close together.

17. I just don’t like fiddle music.

18. The CBC is one of the most low-quality radio networks I’ve ever heard.

19. I’ve never been ice skating.

20. I’ve always thought having a national anthem in two languages was kind of silly.

21. The Toronto Blue Jays? Who are they?

22. I prefer my winter coat be stylish rather than warm.

23. Of course everyone speaks French!

24. I’ve never seen a single accident along the 401, it’s probably one of the safest highways in the world.

25. Who DOESN’T have a concealed carry license for their handguns, right?

26. I wish we didn’t have socialized medicine; free health care is stupid.

27. Molson? Labatt’s? Never heard of them.

28. Of course I’ve been to Newfoundland, it’s not that hard to get to.

30. Actually, the weather in British Columbia is terrible.

31. I love having one and two dollar coins! My pockets and wallet aren’t heavy at all!

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