1. “Why does my mother insist on buying Bolo Rei for Christmas?”
  2. “Yes, darling, I would love to do the dishes while Benfica is playing against Sporting.”
  3. “Don’t bother buying the twelve raisins for New Year’s Eve. My wishes never happen anyway.”
  4. “I never heard RFM.”
  5. “I’d never think of stealing a fig, especially from that loaded fig tree across the road.”
  6. “I live alone, pay the bills and go on holidays. All of it earning the minimum wage.”
  7. “Nope. Never saw Morangos com Açucar.”
  8. “Amália… Amália who?”
  9. “Lisbon is too cool, I don’t feel like venturing out of it.”
  10. “Cod? Too salty.”
  11. “I will never wake up early again to buy freshly baked bread and eat it while it is still hot with butter with a great cup of coffee.”
  12. “Our multibanco (ATM) system sucks. I can pay the bills, make transfers, top up my mobile phones, etc. Having too many options overwhelms me.”
  13. “I honestly don’t think I know any Portuguese expats living abroad.”
  14. “Albufeira is so quiet in the summer.”
  15. “Socrates did great things for the country.”
  16. “I wish the roasted chestnut sellers would stop contaminating the streets with that horrible smell every autumn.
  17. “We should modernize and replace our castles with shopping malls.”
  18. “I miss the days we had to wait for hours to be served at the bank.”
  19. “I love doing the IRS every year.”
  20. “Please, whatever you do, just don’t add garlic to it.”
  21. “No thank you, I just had dinner.”
  22. “Would you prefer a large or a small Cristal?”
  23. “I would invite you in to drink coffee but we ran out. Could you come back tomorrow?”
  24. “When I have visitors, I always buy foreign wine to show off.”
  25. “I don’t think Sardinha Assada should be sold during the Marchas Populares.”
  26. “Does nobody question why we need so many regional pastries?”
  27. “I think you should buy a souvenir instead of going to a masriqueira.”
  28. “Sintra? Never heard of it.”
  29. “That statue of a man wearing a hat and glasses outside A Brasileira? I don’t know. Maybe he was a politician?”
  30. “If I were you, I’d not go to Gêres. Just go cross the border, it is more beautiful there.”
  31. “Every time I go to my neighbor’s “pôr a escrita em dia” (to catch up) she invites me to eat something. It gets annoying.”
  32. “My favourite Portuguese dish? Carbonara.”
  33. “I don’t see the point of having food at a party. Surely it would be better if we had more booze and less rissóis.”
  34. “If I were you, I’d skip Azores. Their pineapple is a bit insipid and don’t bother with their cavacos.”
  35. “If you’ve been to Lisbon, you’ve seen it all here. Throughout the country, we all pretty much eat the same food and produce the same things.”
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