Photo: Stefan Schmitz

1. What car someone drives or if I’ve been invited to a party.

Just three years ago my husband became critically ill and had a double lung transplant. After that experience, it is hard to give a shit about the superfluous things in life.

2. Romance.

Seriously? I don’t need hearts and flowers and Valentines. My husband is not exactly Mr. Romance, and at this point in my life, I don’t want all of that crap. As far as sex and intimacy go, I’m old enough to know exactly what I want, so let’s just get to it, shall we?

3. Being the perfect parent.

Ha! No one is a perfect parent. No matter what, I am going to screw up. And count on it, my children will remind me of my screw ups much more often than they will talk about all the wonderful things I did for them. I feel good about the way I raised my children, and I have never been burdened with being perfect. Why beat myself up? They turned out well, and I’m proud of the people they have become.

4. Being cool.

I have never been “cool” a day in my life. I’m clumsy, I fall a lot, I’m attention-challenged and can barely keep track of my glasses or my car keys. I’m nerdy about things like English history and taking photos of fish. There is absolutely no point any longer in trying to be cool, so I embrace who I am, and I don’t worry about it anymore.

5. Black Friday.

I’ve never liked shopping that much, but the older I get, the more I shop online. I’d rather join the circus than wait in line at 4 am to go to a store on Black Friday.

6. Pleasing every single person I care about.

Talk about a way to give yourself a heart attack! I have spent far too much time in my life trying to make other people happy. I have learned that I can’t please everybody and don’t waste time feeling guilty about it. Let people worry about pleasing me for a change.

7. Gossip about movie and tv stars.

Honestly, who are these people? They all look like they are twelve years old. Who gives a shit about what the Kardashians are doing? Robert Kardashian had the bad luck to be pals with OJ Simpson and then die, but why is his family famous for it?

8. Cooking and cleaning.

I have no interest in either, and I cannot get myself motivated to do much in the house, period. I’d rather be with my dogs, kayaking at the lake, writing, looking at my photos, doing yoga, swimming or traveling. In other words, I’d rather do just about anything rather than cook or clean. Nowadays my meals come from My Fit Foods, Simply Fit Meals, or Snap Kitchen. I can barely get motivated to stick my multigrain frozen waffles in the toaster, let alone cook an entire meal.

9. Stuff.

When I hit fifty, I realized that I had a house full of stuff that doesn’t really mean much anymore. What am I going to do with all of this stuff? I have to go through it and get rid of it, so I really don’t give a shit about getting more, newer, stuff. Have you ever gone to an estate sale and seen all of the stuff people collect in a lifetime and never get rid of? So sad.

View 31 comments