1. Incorporate “yinz” into every sentence, but know that if you’re ever outside of Pittsburgh, no one’s going to have any idea what you’re talking about.
2. Be happy that the Pirates don’t always win. At least we can have one sports team with affordable tickets and a semi laid-back atmosphere.
3. Be okay with the fact that that every sandwich or salad you order downtown is going to have fries on top of it.
4. Show up to every party with a case of Yeungling. You can’t go wrong.
5. Know what the term “nebby” means and don’t be offended if someone calls you a neb-nose.
6. Only buy flowers from the rose man on the 16th street bridge.
7. Order fish sandwiches on the dock “Wholey” style — a pound of wild caught fish on a just-baked bun.
8. Realize that you have no connection to the rest of the state of Pennsylvania. Philadelphia is five hours away and the Eagles? Come on…
9. Either buy yourself a boat or make friends with someone who has one. That way, you can take full advantage of living in the three rivers city.
10. Always carry an umbrella.
12. Accept that Planet Fitness has to be your new gym.
13. Spend every evening walking the streets of the cultural district. The lights, music and restaurants spill onto the streets for an unforgettable picture of Pittsburgh.
14. Always take visiting friends to the LeMont on Mount Washington. So they’ll see the view, taste the chicken saltimbocca, and want to move here.
15. Buy yourself a bike so you can get around downtown — because Pittsburgh doesn’t have a metro and the bus system is less than practical.
16. Don’t go to Oakland during the Pittsburgh Marathon, unless you never want to get to where you’re going.
17. Only drink Iron City Beer. (Or Yeungling, obviously.)
18. Never park at the outrageously priced Three Rivers Casino garage — even though it’s in a prime location downtown.
19. Bleed black and gold.
20. Respect that no matter where life takes you, you’ll always end up back in Pittsburgh.
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