A sneak peak into the surprisingly sordid world of Matador Life.

We want to share with you the process that gives birth to the articles on Matador Life. Each week, Leigh, Candice and I get together online for an epic chat to sort out the schedule for the following two weeks.

I’m not ashamed to say these sessions are one of the highlights of my week. Our chat is hilarious, and inevitably veers into all sorts of off-the-wall tangents. It often stretches to over 500 lines!

Here are some excerpts from the last few months that give a flavor of the sorts of things we cover. I’ve pared them down a lot – no-one wants to read a 500 line chat – and added a few links to relevant articles, but other than that I’ve left everything exactly as was originally typed.

Two things you need to know first. Candice works for a deep sea tech company whose tagline is “Go deeper, last longer.” No joke! And Andy is the Matador social media ninja, who deals with our twittering and facebookery.

Enjoy!

Leigh: You’ve been invited to this chat room!
   i think we’re all here now?
Nick: I’m here
   Candice hasn’t wooped yet though
Candice: woooo!!! it’s mandatory now
Nick: ah, there you are!
Leigh: sorry. one sec. we have guests staying adn they’re just heading out the door.
   brb
Nick: cool
   how’s you, Candice?
   still going deep, long and wet
   or whatever it is?!
Candice: hahahahahahahaha go deeper last longer! yes, i’m currently putting together some documentation for our seinefish netsounders. it’s really really thrilling
Nick: seinefish netsounders?
   you just made that up!
Leigh: hey. i’m back
Candice: play time over!
Leigh: ok. so how about we try to bang out the next two week.
Nick: don’t use words like that around Candice 😉
Candice: hahahahahahaha

Candice has left

Photo by Simon Law

Nick: no, candice, come back
Leigh: so how about we work with this chick to expand on points 2 and 3 for a less bullet point article and a more Life LEssons type essay?
   lol. (sort of)
   candice? you back yet?
   nick?
   omg am i alone chatting online?
_____

Nick: How’s diving deeper, Candice?!
Candice: biggest sonar company in canada man! you should see our underwater robot
Nick: Now that is a chat up line
   Come back to mine and I’ll show you my underwater robot
Candice: LOL
Leigh: lol. yes. altho i had an idea for another article.
Nick: yup
Leigh: euphemisms for penis and vagina.
   underwater robot..
Nick: LOVE IT
Candice: baaaaaaaaaahahahahahahaha
Leigh: anywya… let’s think on that, love on that.
Nick: great one to crowd source
   Imagine Andy sending out a tweet:

Leigh: LOL.
   Matador Life has gone entirely adolescent!
Nick: What pet names do you and your partner have for your penis and vagina
   DM with details
Candice: LOL
Leigh: LOLOLOLOL
   should it be a photo essay?
Candice: absolutely!
Leigh: with little signs propped up on the nicknamed member.
Candice: nick, keep this convo for wheneer you write that “how things get done at Life” snack hahaha
Nick: you could do it with the team, anonymous, and have the readers try to guess whose is whose
Leigh: brb. gotta take puppy out so he doesn’t shit on the floor
Nick: oh my god we’ve descended into farce!
Candice: that’s not descending!
Leigh: jus tpost this entire conversation. no edits. nothing.
   would be perfect.
   with a title… this is who you trust to write about living your Life?
Nick: feels like the beautiful beginning of a new site, Matador Porn
_____

Leigh: shall we make it an entirely foodie week that following week?
   bolognaise. face products from your kitchen.
Nick: I really like the idea of a foodie week
Candice: semen pudding!
Leigh: DING DING DING
Nick: noooooooooooooo
   spotted dick
Leigh: and placenta.
   LOLOLOL
Candice: i can’t do a video but i can do a photo type thingy
   …not of semen p udding
Leigh: how about this… for the food beauty products..
   i’ll give you each a recipe. you try them out and take photos.
Nick: hang on, is this making and eating food, or putting cucumber in my ears
Leigh: putting cucumber on your ears.
   and covering your entire body with labneh
Candice: that would be hysterical
   i’m gonna get my male roomie to help me with the face masks

Photo by Candice Walsh

Leigh: DEFINITELY!
Nick: I’m gonna have a face mask party
Leigh: omg. i see another chatroulette article possibley.
Candice: hahahahahahahahaha
Leigh: lol. with whom?
Nick: anyone who’s willing to do absurd things in the name of writing and art
Candice: should be all males
Leigh: nick, can’t wait to see you covered in yogurt.
Candice: LOL
Nick: OH. My. God!
Leigh: what? what?
Nick: did I really say yes to that?!!
   (yoghurt)
Leigh: you will thank me for it afterwards.
_____

Leigh: man. is it a good thing we can’t all get together and go out for a drink.
   or a bad one.
Nick: it’ll happen one day
   and the world will never be the same again
Candice: getting together for drinks is on my bucket list
Nick: getting together for buckets is on my drinks list
Candice: LOLLLL nick
Leigh: what the hella re you two talking about?
Nick: not sure anymore…
Candice: buckets of beer
   i don’t even know
Leigh: so really, candice. do you actually drink that much?
Nick: yeah, do you really drink buckets of beer?
Leigh: there’s this whole myth around candice that she’s a huge drinker.
   but i don’t see it.
Nick: i think it’s a carefully managed image
Candice: you don’t have buckets of beer? not like, actual beer…bottles of beer in buckets. it’s a big thing
Nick: bottles of beer in buckets
   don’t you have fridges?
_____

Leigh: oks. thaks for the chat. we accomplished a shitload.
Nick: this has been an epic, and emotional, multi-chat
   my fingers are dead
Leigh: lol.
   i know. it’s a bit exhausting.
Candice: LOL
Leigh: cool. thanks nick. thanks candice.
   good getting this hammered out.
Candice: for sure!
Nick: x

COMMUNITY CONNECTION

Come follow the Matador Life team on Twitter! Leigh: @thefutureisred, Candice: @candicewalsh, and Nick: @Pharaonick