1. Monday

The universally acceptable excuse for drinking on a Monday is simply to say, “It’s Monday.”

2. Tuesday

The one day of the week YOU SHOULDN’T DRINK, but you’ve always fancied yourself a contrarian and you really want to use up that last bit of hair gel.

3. Wednesday

You roll your eyes every time someone says “hump day,” but then you think about it for a while, and you’re like…

4. Thursday

Because not blasting out a text message announcing “Thirsty Thursday” is pretty much impossible. And once that happens you’re like…


***Intermission. How is that work week going?***


And when those run out, use these…

5. Monday

You will just go along to hear some music from a DJ you really like and you swear it won’t turn into…

6. Tuesday

Dollar tacos are not going to wash themselves down.

7. Wednesday

OMG 80s NIGHT!

8. Thursday

Because you’re ONLY having ONE DRINK.