Get creative with your alcohol-sneaking strategies.
No one is more creative than a person from the Outback when it comes to sneaking in alcohol. An inventive example is the Esky Punch, which is simply when you empty an entire bottle of vodka into your esky (cooler) that’s full of ice. That way, if your Esky is searched for some reason, it will be assumed that the ice has just started to melt from the heat — not that it’s floating around in a litre of vodka.
Always have a tactical plan.
Longevity is something to aspire to when drinking in the Outback. Your basic goal is to outlast your mates without spending too much money. Which is why everyone knows that you always order a glass of water in a low voice that no one but the bartender can hear (the outlast part), and start the night on rum which, though costly, will get you inebriated fast. Then switch to beer, which won’t hurt the wallet as much (the cheaper part).
Know your environment and the type of drinking that it requires.
When it comes to drinking like you’re from the Outback, situational awareness is key. Going to the races and want to look classy? Drink wine or champagne. Going to the rodeo and want to appear as if you belong? Drink Bundy Rum. Going out on your boat fishing for the day and don’t want the hassle of mixing your drinks or broken glass? Cans of beer.
Memorise your drinking slang.
Make sure you know the colloquial term for what you are drinking. Bush Chook, Green Cans, and Gold are all types of beer commonly drunk in the Outback. That way if someone offers you a Bush Chook, you’ll know to be appreciative and not offended.
Appropriate clothing is definitely important.
Girls, you know you should never wear high heels to the R=races. Wedges should be your go-to shoe. Then, if it starts to rain and you’ve had a few drinks too many, you’ll be thanking yourself for not having to dig your stilettos out of the mud.
Remember, more is more.
When you’re going camping for the weekend, always take more alcohol than you think you will need. Even if that means leaving out some of the food. Otherwise you’ll be caught in the dire predicament of looking for your drink, not at it. That’s rough.
Absolutely never refuse a drink someone has bought for you.
Even if you are a typical Aussie bloke that works on an Outback station, if someone buys you wine, champagne, cider, or some other drink you wouldn’t be caught dead ordering, drink it. It would be in poor taste to refuse. Plus, you’ve just saved yourself at least 10 dollars.
And above all, protect your drink.
No matter what happens, save your drink. If you are at the races in a new dress and about to trip face first into a pile of horse manure — keep that drink upright. You can always get the dress dry-cleaned.
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