21 Reasons You Should Never Visit Cleveland

by Isabelle Martin Jun 5, 2015

1. The downtown is totally dead.

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2. A pub that only serves hot dogs, tater tots, and beer? No thanks.

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3. The Midwest is just too traditional.

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4. Sorry. Live music isn’t really your thing.

5. Who wants to drink a full liter of beer?

6. Whiskey Island sounds like a boring place.

7. What’s the point in local coffee shops? Instant coffee’s all you need.

8. This doesn’t look fun at all.

9. Who wants to play NBA Jam at a bar?

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10. There are no nice restaurants here.

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11. You’re more of a Miller Lite person.

12. It’s too urban. Where’s the nature?

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13. Sports just aren’t for you.

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14. You don’t like to be overwhelmed while shopping.

15. Margarita flights? Eh.

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16. The theater is a snore.

17. Lake Erie is gross.

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18. The biggest outdoor chandelier in the world doesn’t impress you.

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19. Seeing one of the “Big Five” orchestras isn’t high on your list.

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20. There’s nothing for your kids to do.

21. You’d prefer to buy TV dinners at the supermarket.

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