- “Delayed? Oh thank God. I’ve been dying to try that TGI Friday’s in Terminal B.”
- “There’s no way the guy who looks at all of these naked X-rays of us is being anything but professional.”
- “I always get the best night’s sleep in these airport chairs.”
- “What is it about airports that makes kids so chill?”
- “Nope. There’s not a single person in this airport who can lend me some Xanax.”
- “Do you think anyone loves their job as much as the clerks at the check-in counter?”
- “You know, I fly a lot, but I just never really worry about terrorism.”
- “TSA just really gets how to treat you like a human being, you know?”
- “Hudson News is the only place I buy new books.”
- “Love Actually was right. This is the happiest place on earth.”
- “Just looking around the waiting area, I can tell: we’re all going to be such good friends after this flight.”
- “Even if this flight goes down, at least I spent my last hours here.”
- “Could you go a little lighter on the booze, bartender?”
- “These souvenirs look so authentic.“
- “Man, they’ve just got this entire process down to a science.”
- “Honey! Sit down! They’re boarding Zone 1. We’re Zone 3. It’s very bad manners to crowd the gate before your zone is called.”
- “I’ll bet those drug sniffing dogs smell way more drugs than crotch sweat.”
- “I’m not thrilled about being put on stand-by, but I’m sure the airlines have my best interests at heart.”
- “I totally understand why overbooking flights is a thing that’s legal. Hell, in my job, I always sell people products that I don’t actually have.”
- “I’m pretty psyched the guy next to me decided to watch Game of Thrones with no headphones. Nothing improves airport ambiance like the sound of a man being disemboweled.”
- “It’s such a beautiful cross-section of humanity.”
- “Look, I’m sure that guy getting stripped searched was chosen at random. It has nothing to do with his race.”
- “Oh, you go first. I’m not in a rush.”
- “Man, everyone smells so good here.”
- “What is it we’re supposed to do if we see something? They just don’t repeat that advice over the loudspeakers enough.”
- “No, I don’t feel like a goddamn high-speed superhero when I’m walking on the moving walkway.”
- “Is there anyone more welcoming than an immigration official?”
- “Airports are way better sober.”
- “The people getting off of this flight look so relaxed.“
- “At least I know I’m yelling at the person who’s actually to blame for these delays.”
- “That connection really hit the sweet spot: not too close, not too long.”
- “Eight dollars for an hour of Wifi? What a deal!”
- “Something about airports just makes me less judgmental.”
- “I bought the flight just to get at the duty free section.”
- “That dude made a terrorism joke in the security line, and everyone was just super chill about it.”
- “You know what I love about rolling suitcases? How they never hit my foot while I’m walking and flip over.”
- “Worse things have happened.”
Photo: Pressmaster/Shutterstock
