HERE IS an opening paragraph which will make your readers close the travel magazine, log off the travel website, and never want to read you again.
“You lose,” he said. Laughingly, he poked me in the ribs and handed me the empty canteen. I was making up my mind about what to do when something crashed throu the underbrush. Pow! He doubled over and crashed to the ground. OH my god, you can imagine how I felt.
Referring to the above paragraph, here are eight crucial errors that suck any element of seduction out of the words: