29 things you’ll never hear someone from Anchorage say

1. Aren’t moose clever?

2. What’s the point of remote start?

3. Wasilla is such a classy place.

4. I hear there’s a great show this weekend at the Mug-Shot.

5. Air conditioning would be a good investment.

6. Duct tape is useless.

7. I can definitely outrun that bear/moose/cougar.

8. Store produce is so fresh, it lasts such a long time once I take it home.

9. We have too many professional sports teams.

10. The Bubbly Mermaid is the place to go for an affordable night out.

11. …Or Captain Cook…

12. There’s no good, local beer.

13. Nobody uses Meetup.

14. What’s a J-Bear?

15. By PFD you mean personal flotation device, right?

16. I don’t have an Alaska Airlines mileage plan.

17. It’s great how often I can wear my sandals.

18. I’ve never smoked.

19. I don’t think winters are getting warmer.

20. Pizza Friday night? The Moose’s Tooth shouldn’t be too busy…

21. I don’t know anyone in the military.

22. Or anyone involved in the energy industry for that matter.

23. I’ve never shot a gun.

24. Public transportation is so efficient.

25. If only it was easier to find coffee.

26. Mount McKinley

27. Property is so cheap!

28. I haven’t seen a single cheechako today.

29. I can see Russia from my house!