Saying “I’m moving to Canada” has become cliche when the election season starts getting too crazy. But now, the Canadian island of Cape Breton is saying “No, really…”
Their tourism department just released a marketing campaign complete with a website called “Cape Breton If Trump Wins”
The website’s message to Americans:
“Hi Americans! Donald Trump may become the President of your country! If that happens, and you decide to get the hell out of there, might I suggest moving to Cape Breton Island!
Don’t wait until Donald Trump is elected president to find somewhere else to live! Start now, that way, on election day, you just hop on a bus to start your new life in Cape Breton, where women are legally able to choose an abortion, Muslim people can roam freely, and the only ‘walls’ are holding up the roofs of our extremely affordable houses.
We have a dedicated team of volunteers ready to get the ball rolling, so get in touch today!”
Cape Breton is a small island on the East Coast of Canada that has experienced population declines in the last few years. But the website argues that “summers are delightful,” winters are manageable and familiar (“just like the North East USA”), and the housing market is realistic:
“How much would it cost for a three bedroom lakeside home in your state? About a jillion dollars? You would need to BE Donald Trump to afford a place like that. But in Cape Breton, we have the most affordable housing market in North America!”
“In Cape Breton, we value diversity! Here, you can hear a number of other languages, like French and Mi’kmaq, even Gaelic!”
The island assures you:
“This is not a joke! See for yourself, you belong here with us on Cape Breton Island, where health care is free, you know your neighbours and they look out for you, and nobody has a hand gun!”