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10 Phrases Guaranteed to Insult an Alabamian

by Anna Irving Jun 29, 2017

1. “Alabama is full of rednecks.”

What’s wrong with loving the simple life, and embracing self-sufficiency? Also, Alabama is home to lots of different types of people — and all states have rednecks, darlin’.

2. “You can tell that Alabamians are stupid because of how they talk.”

That’s called an accent and you’ve got one too! Is dialect now an indicator of intelligence?

3. “I don’t visit Alabama because there’s nothing fun to do.”

We have beaches, we have mountains, and we have a plethora or forests and hiking trails. If you’re not a fan of the outdoors, we’ve got craft breweries, historical monuments and tours, and some of the most amazing local artists around. Spend a day café- or gallery-hopping in Birmingham, or taking in a little history in Montgomery, and see if you don’t change your tune.

4. “Wow, people actually wear shoes here!”

Yes, fool. We wear shoes to work, to dinner, and contrary to popular belief, we even wear shoes to Walmart.

5. “All Alabamians live in trailers.”

We live in houses, apartments, and cabins, like everyone else. Some of us do live in trailers though, or as we like to call them, “The Original Tiny House.”

6. “So, you’re married to your cousin, right?”

Though it is technically legal to marry a first cousin in Alabama, it’s also legal in California, Florida, and Colorado, among others. Why is Alabama always the butt of this joke?

7. “At least I know how to drive in the snow.”

Why don’t you hop in your Prius and head down Highway 280 during a snow storm to prove your point? Snow in the south is just not comparable to snow in the north. You get snow, we get ice. We also only get ice once or twice a year, if that, so why in the world would we invest in resources, personal or otherwise, to combat this?

8. “Yea, it’s really humid where I’m from, too.”

Do not underestimate our humidity. Just buy your hairspray in bulk, and learn how to play the ever-so-fun game: ‘Can I breathe outside today or nah?’

9. “Isn’t ‘Sweet Home Alabama’ your favorite song?”

Hell no.

10. “Your grandmother’s cooking is just okay.”

Remove yourself from my property and don’t come back.

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