1. Puerto Ricans won’t call you a “friend.” They’ll call you a “breadfruit” (Pana).

2. Puerto Ricans don’t say, “Things are going to get difficult.” They say, “What’s coming is monkey shit” (Lo que viene escañiña de mono).

3. Puerto Ricans don’t say, “This is a mess.” They say, “This is rice with ass” (Esto es un arroz con culo).

4. A Puerto Rican doesn’t say “I’m bored.” They say, “I’m eating a cable” (Me estoy comiendo un cable).

5. Puerto Ricans won’t ask you, “How is going?” They’ll ask you, “What is the what?” (¿Qué es la que?).

6. Puerto Ricans won’t say, “They took advantage of his innocence.” They’ll say, “They took him like a low-hanging mango” (Lo cogieron de mangó bajito).

7. Puerto Ricans don’t say, “It’s done.” They say “Dead chicken” (Muerto el pollo).

8. Puerto Ricans won’t “throw an amazing party.” They’ll “throw the house through the window” (Tirar la casa por la ventana).

9. Puerto Ricans won’t tell you “You’re being lazy.” They’ll tell you that, “You’re being a sweet potato” (Estas hecho una batata).

10. Puerto Ricans don’t get “drunk.” They get, “buried deep in the ground” (Jendio).

11. Puerto Ricans won’t tell you to “Go to hell.” They’ll tell you to, “Go to the lookout basket at the top of a Spanish galleon ship” (Vete al carajo).

12. Puerto Ricans won’t say, “He died.” They’ll say “Pateco took him” (Se lo llevo Pateco).

13. Puerto Ricans won’t tell you to stop “living beyond your means.” They’ll tell you to stop trying to, “shit from higher than the ass” (Cagar más arriba del culo).

14. Puerto Ricans won’t say someone “has lots of money.” They’ll say it, “has the bank leaning sideways” (Tiene el banco virao).

15. Puerto Ricans won’t tell you to “stop insisting.” They’ll tell you, “keep going, it’s late” (Y dale que es tarde!).

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