Photo: Veronika Zelenina/Shutterstock

7 Lies You Tell Yourself When You Move to California

by Hana Nobel Jul 4, 2017

“I’ll probably only stay for a year.”

A year is not enough time to really get to know Los Angeles, San Diego, Sacramento, or San Francisco. And if you’re not living in any of the major California cities, that’s barely enough time to visit all of them. Plus there’s Yosemite to visit, the Redwoods to explore, ski mountains from Big Bear to Mammoth, Lake Tahoe, Joshua Tree for climbing and lots of fascinating small towns. You’re not leaving right away.

“I’m going to spend all of my time outdoors.”

Yes, much of the state does have perfect weather year-round, but at some point, you might become jaded. On the rare days when it does rain or isn’t nice, you’ll be thrilled not to have guilt for binging Netflix or not leaving the house all day. When you moved to Santa Monica, you vowed to watch the sunset every day, but after the first month, you got busy.

“I’m not going to get into hippie stuff like green juice or yoga.”

You can name all the local juice shops and you’re a member at the neighborhood yoga studio. There’s no shame in that — you’re one of us now.

“I’m not going to become one of those people who never leaves California to visit my friends and family.”

Oh really? When’s the last time you crossed state lines? A weekend trip to Vegas a few months ago? When there’s a state this great (and this huge) it’s easy to get stuck. But are you really stuck if you want to be here?

“I won’t really miss seasons.”

Yes — -temperate weather year-round rules. And the option of a warm February rules even more. But if you grew up in a place with four seasons, expect to feel nostalgia. “White Christmas” doesn’t feel the same when it’s playing next to palm trees. And in much of the state, leaves don’t change. You can get your fix in Tahoe or up north, but many Californians don’t have anything heavier than a sweater.

“I won’t pick up the slang.”

You’re probably hella comfortable with the lingo. You know it’s not chill to call it “Cali” and you call highways by their proper names, like “The 405”. You talk like a SoCal or NorCal local now, and you’re stoked to be here.

“I’m going to become a surfer.”

You took one lesson and learned: A) How cold the Pacific Ocean is B) How hard surfing is. Your Surfin’ USA dreams are crushed, but we’ve all been there. You can definitely still go to parties in San Diego and pretend you know what everyone is talking about.

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