Rather than putting your energy into a Burn Book or a carton of Ben and Jerry’s, you can take out your anger on your ex this Valentine’s Day by naming their spirit animal after them: a cockroach.
The Bronx Zoo is re-launching its “Name-A-Roach” program, which allows you to name one of over 50,000 giant Madagascar hissing cockroaches. For just $15, you can not only name a roach, but you can also send a certificate to the honoree.
While the internet is having fun maligning exes, the program is actually meant to celebrate the roach and be given as a Valentine’s Day gift to your significant other. According to John F. Calvelli, the Wildlife Conservation Society’s Executive Vice President of Public Affairs, “The Bronx Zoo’s Name-A-Roach promotion is a light-hearted, fun way to reach out to someone on Valentine’s Day to let them know that you are thinking about them.”
We dare you to bestow someone you actually care about with this honor as their only Valentine’s Day present and see how the holiday works out for you. But if you really think your special someone will get a kick out of having a roach named for them, you can also fork over $75 for “The Works” package, which includes a roach beanie, pin, and mug in addition to the certificate.