If you’re a transplant to Philly and you’re trying to blend in, we can help. From laughing with your mouth wide open to paying a large portion of your annual income to the PPA, you’re officially a local in Philadelphia when you can tick off these 11 boxes.
1. You no longer say the full names of neighborhoods.
You’re all about “U-City” and “NoLibs” nowadays.
2. You have super low expectations about your sports teams.
Except for the post-Super Bowl Eagles and when you’re talking to someone who’s not from Philadelphia. In that case, we’re always going to win everything. But amongst ourselves, we know these teams will never make it easy for us.
3. You don’t leave the house if it snows.
Or threatens to snow. Or even thinks about snowing.
4. You talk like one.
It’s not a myth: We talk differently in Philly. Youse need to respect it.
5. You identify with other Philadelphians.
It’s all about community and city pride here. You don’t need to be from here to be treated like a local, but you do need to love the city as fiercely as those who are born here.
6. You still drive everywhere.
Or take a car with your ride-share app. Either way, you’re not walking or taking public transit. Unless you’re a cute hipster Philadelphian, then you’re probably riding your bike. Even then, you still have a car, just in case.
7. You have paid down at least $500 annually to the PPA.
That’s probably a conservative estimate. If you’re living anywhere in Center City, go ahead and throw a zero on the end of that number.
8. You always order a shot side for your beer.
Even if you’re not dabbling in the City Special, most beers call for more booze. Your beers may stay fancy, but there’s no reason your liquor needs to be. We’ll have that triple Belgian-style local craft beer with a shot of your finest house whiskey, please.
9. You get real hyped any time a movie/play/book is based in Philly.
We don’t care that Michael B. Jordan isn’t from here. He made a movie about Philly in Philly — a follow-up to Rocky. The man’s an American hero, end of story.
10. You respect the rituals.
It doesn’t have to make sense, and it often won’t. St. Patrick’s Day is celebrated for a month. Trivia is Quizzo. The sooner you accept Philly’s rituals, the sooner you belong.
11. You escape in the summers.
No self-respecting Philadelphian sticks around in the late summer. If you can’t, stay inside, away from the 100 percent humidity and temperatures breaking into the 90s.