1. You forget to pack underwear for an out-of-town trip, but brought your speed rope. Travel WODs are a priority.
2. The sound of a blender bottle makes your mouth water or your heart race. Pre-workout, you drink all beverages from a blender bottle.
3. Your hands resemble those of a lumberjack — chalky and callused — and you’re damn proud of it.
4. The Open is the most terrifying time of the year. Five weeks of Dave Castro’s worst. You hate it, but you love it.
5. When asked “What you do?” your first answer is always “CrossFit.”
6. You stay awake until the WOD is posted, and refresh the page every minute.
7. When asked how you get your cardio, you respond, “I lift heavy shit, and sometimes do some burpees.”
8. You shudder at the thought of running more than 400 meters at a time. We’re CrossFitters, not marathoners.
9. You feel compelled to do things like pull-ups and pistols in random places including, but not limited to, subways, statues, etc. — and then you post it to social media (#crossfit).
10. You have a pet named Murph, Fran, or Annie.
11. Bacon is a pantry staple: 1. Because it’s delicious 2. Because it’s Paleo. 3. Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon!
12. You are fluent in acronyms. Today your WOD was 3RFT of 15 OHS, 12 HSPU, and 9 GHD.
13. Ladies — you know it is scientifically proven that CrossFit makes your ass look great. But CrossFit AND Lululemon makes your ass look FANTASTIC. Fact. Science.
14. When you meet a new CrossFitter you ask the holy trinity: 1) “What box do you go to?” 2) “What’s your Fran time?” 3) “Are you Paleo?”
15. A PR is a day maker. So you got fired today. But you got a PR!
16. Squats. Squats are always the answer.
17. Collarbone bruises, hand rips, and shin scrapes are normal topics of conversation.
18. You can’t go out for Happy Hour because you have to WOD in the morning.
19. Box parties always result in too much tequila (it’s Paleo) and feats of strength.
20. Box locations are a key factor when planning a vacation.
21. You have demonstrated proper burpee form to your co-workers, more than once. They may not know your name, but they know you CrossFit.
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