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Naughty Boys Vs. Tobacco Monopoly: 10 Hilarious Pro Soccer Team Names

by Adam Roy Sep 15, 2009
Ten soccer teams whose names lost something in translation.
1. Young Boys – Switzerland

Maybe we’re being juvenile, but this club, which plays in Switzerland’s Super League, is just asking for it.

Young Boys play their home games at Wankdorf Stadium in Bern. The completion of their new field in 2001 prompted Reuters to run one of the most hilarious headlines in sports history.

The cherry on the sundae is the team’s initiation ritual, which consists of giving new Young Boys a lap dance in Wankdorf. You can’t make this stuff up.

2. Newell’s Old Boys – Argentina

Newell’s Old Boys are proof of Argentina’s long love affair with British culture. Including the parts that even the British can’t take seriously.

Despite having a name that only a prep schooler could love, the club is a contender in the country’s first division.

3. Maseru Naughty Boys – Lesotho

Unfortunately, some boys just refuse to behave. When they’re not busy playing in the Lesotho Premier League, the Naughty Boys reportedly enjoy kicking puppies, pulling girls’ pigtails, and sneaking cigarettes in the boys’ bathroom.

4. Chaco For Ever – Argentina

We don’t know what restroom graffiti inspired their name, but we’re fans of Chaco For Ever, a fourth-tier club based in the town of Resistencia.

The team plays in the Torneo Argentino B against rivals such as Crucero del Norte, Sol de America, and 555-5555 CALL FOR A GOOD TIME.

5. Botswana Meat Commission – Botswana

With one of the youngest squads in Botswana’s top league, the Botswana Meat Commission is ready to take on all comers and slaughter them on the pitch. Plus maybe inspect, package, and export them.

6. Deportivo Wanka – Peru

Deportivo Wanka is really named for the Wankas, a Quechua-speaking nation that formerly inhabited the club’s home city of Huancayo.

That hasn’t stopped their jerseys from becoming collectibles for British fans.

7. King Faisal Babes – Ghana

Are they trying to say they’re royalty? Or are they just paying tribute to the virility of their favorite Saudi Arabian monarch? Either way, we like it.

8. Robinhood – Suriname

One of Suriname’s most successful soccer clubs, Parimaribo’s Robinhood has won 23 league championships since 1953.

We just hope that they decide to challenge Nottingham Forest some time soon.

9. Motor Action – Zimbabwe

Motor Action, which recently fired their coach over poor results, hasn’t been winning many games lately.

What they do win is the Matador Sports prize for “Best Name That Might Also Be a Judas Priest Album”.

10. Thailand Tobacco Monopoly – Thailand

Decades of class-action lawsuits and legislation haven’t been able to take down the US tobacco lobby. Does it seem just a tad unfair that eleven players can defeat the Thailand Tobacco Monopoly in 90 minutes? We think so.

Community Connection

Sports clubs aren’t the only groups with ridiculous names. Laugh along with Matador Nights’ 25 Original Names of Bands You Know.

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