16 Lies the Guidebooks Are Telling You About Milan

1. ‘Milanese ladies go to the shops only in their Prada heels.’

We also go to the shops in our PJs sometimes — but we do hope no one sees us.

2. ‘Brera is Milan’s artist neighborhood.’

The Fine Arts Academy may still be there, but no artists can afford €2,000 a month studio flats.

3. ‘You can see the Alps from the roof of the Duomo.’

Maybe twice a year.

4. ‘Milan is a gray city with lots of buildings and concrete.’

Parco Sempione. I say no more.

5. Ask the locals: ‘Do you cheer for Inter or AC Milan?’

Some of us cheer for Juventus. Some for AC Giana. Some of us just don’t care about football. So don’t expect some great response.

6. ‘The weather is cold, wet and miserable for most of the year.’

I so wish it was the case when I’m sweating in 38-degree June heat, knowing it’s not going to rain for months at a time.

7. Milan is ‘un-Italian.’

Honestly, what does that mean?

8. ‘You can’t eat a meal for under €30.’

How about all you can eat sushi at Kazan in Porta Venezia, Porta Romana or Porta Ticinese for €13.80?

9. ‘Going out is too expensive.’

Yes, if you’re heading to Just Cavalli or Armani Privé it is — but why would you? Go to Porta Ticinese and grab a beer from a bottle shop for €2.50.

10. ‘You can’t order a cappuccino after 10:30.’

We order cappuccino whenever we fancy — but NEVER with a meal.

11. Please don’t believe aperitivo to be ‘a delicious spread of pre-dinner tidbits.’

It’s usually just reheated lunch leftovers, but it’s still fantastic.

12. Don’t ‘sit for a coffee in Galleria Vittorio Emanuele.’

Unless you’re prepared to spend €7 for your espresso.

13. ‘Panzerotti is worth the queue!’

No it’s not. You won’t get ‘Milan’s best street food’ — just a soggy ball of fried dough with the faintest trace or tomato and mozzarella.

14. Corso Como is not ‘Milan’s to-go place for hip, up-and-coming designers.’

Maybe 20 years ago — now it’s Isola or Porta Ticinese.

15. Whatever you do, don’t ‘head to Corso Buenos Aires on the first day of sales.’

Or any Saturday afternoon. Or ever, for that matter.

16. Those cute little streetcars are actual public transport, not ‘sightseeing rides for tourists.’

Yes, they’re fun, but get ready for hard seats and a bone-rattling ride.